Cum metu et tremore

After an absence of some time.

2005-11-15T23:31:00.000-06:00

Not much to report. I am not an interesting fellow - but soon, oh soon you will get an update worthy of the reader you are!

Bedtime!

2005-08-26T02:02:00.000-05:00

I need to go to bed, since I must go to school tomorrow. Yes, I have resumed my education, and I am currently suffering through a semester of freshman-level courses. I was unable to remain on my original catalog, so my core requirements have changed. I am taking History 101 *weep*, Music 121 *yelp*, and Economics 110 *BANG!*

Oh yes.

2005-08-16T23:51:00.000-05:00

If anyone out there likes the video games, I recommend downloading the demo for Fahrenheit (also known as Indigo Prophecy). Broadband only, though, since it weighs in at 300MB. You can find it at Download.com. It's basically an adventure game, but avoids the pixel-hunting that plagues even good adventure games like Syberia. The demo is very short, but it really does a good job of leaving you wanting more. The full version will be released September 6 (well, I'm sure a warez version will be available on Bit Torrent before that), and I really think this game will be way rad. Check it out - you can play through the demo a few times in under 30 minutes, and you'll probably want to anyway. It's very promising.

I never would have described myself this way...

2005-08-16T23:19:00.000-05:00

I have never given much serious thought to politics, or where I fit in the spectrum, but out of curiosity, I have been taking several quizzes which claim to reveal your political alignment. They have varied in size and sophistication, but they all reveal me to be a liberal libertarian. For instance I took one that ranked you on a scale of 0-40, 0 being Jesse Jackson and 40 being Ronald Reagan. I scored a 13, which puts me right of Hillary Clinton, but left of Bill (10 and 15, respectively).

Though I might describe myself as liberal at least in sympathy (maybe left-of-center is more accurate), I never would have described myself as libertarian - I guess I associate it with the Libertarians I knew in college, who were often completely batsh*t insane.

Two of the quizzes are here and here.

New title.

2005-08-04T01:53:00.000-05:00

I decided to change the title of the blog. Not sure if this one is permanent either. It's from the Vulgate - Phillipians 2:12 - "with fear and trembling." It's one of my favorite New Tetament phrases: "work out your salvation in fear and trembling." I think that the West has lost the sense of sin and God's wrath to a degree that is foreign to Christian tradition. Now, I'm not advocating dwelling in mortal terror on God's pending judgment à la Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God or St. Robert Bellarmine's Hell and Its Torments, interesting though they may be. But we tend to only truly consider God's mercy while forgetting that the God of mercy is also a God of justice. We don't consider that God is truly offended by sin, nor do we seriously question our own salvation or the salvation of our loved ones. Nor does modern man, and, sadly, even the modern Catholic, much consider that even though our guilt may be forgiven by God's mercy, his perfect justice demands satisfaction. You can steal somebody's car, but even if you confess and ask forgiveness of the owner, and receive it, you still must make restitution.

Again, I do not advocate despair of attaining salvation, for to despair of God's mercy is a sin. Nevertheless, the presumption of God's mercy is also sinful. We should turn to the theological virtues of faith, hope, and charity. We should pray for God's mercy and not only avoid sin, but perform works of penance and works of charity. In this way we can attempt to make satisfaction for the many wrongs by which we have grieved our God.

I think we as Catholics need to take seriously the doctrine of Purgatory - for most of us, we do not make satisfaction for all of our sins during our time on earth, and for those of us who endure to the end (cf. Mt 24:13) and are thus destined to eternal life, Purgatory lies beyond the particular judgment for most of us. Thank God for Purgatory, though it's lamentable that even faithful Christians don't succed in making satisfaction to our God and King. I also think it would be beneficial to recover the tradition of offering daily prayers for the suffering souls detained in Purgatory. Though the holy souls are certainly most helped by the Sacrifice of the Mass, it is the faith of the Church that even our personal prayers and supplications are of value to the souls in Purgatory. I certainly hope I will be assisted thus when I die!

Could Jesus have sinned?

2005-07-21T00:36:00.000-05:00

It's a question that has perplexed many theologians for centuries, and an endlessly fascinating one at that. So let's think about it.

First of all, let's state what we accept from the outset. That Jesus Christ exists in the hypostatic union of the divine nature of the Second Person of the Trinity with the human nature of Jesus of Nazareth, born of the Virgin Mary. Both the divine will and the human will are present and operative in Christ. Christ's human nature has a human soul. We admit the union of the two natures, but disavow any admixture or confusion of the two. We also confess, whether Jesus was the subject of peccability or impeccability, that he in fact did not commit any sin whatsoever.

So, could he? At first, it would seem that he certainly could have, or else what was the point of his temptations, and further, what is the big deal about not committing sins if you can't commit them in the first place?

Then again, it would seem distasteful to suggest that he could, for at least two reasons. First, we confess that, since the hypostatic union at Jesus' conception, his two natures are eternally united, even now in heaven and for all eternity. If he could sin while on earth, it would stand to reason that he could sin even now, which seems odd. Secondly, it is illogical to say that God can sin, since to sin is to act contrary to the will of God. It is difficult to see how God could act contrary to Himself.

It seems that the majority of those who have seriously thought about the question decide that Jesus could not sin, whether or not they were completely satisfied with their reasoning. It is primarily the second reason for impeccability given above that leads to this conclusion. It is simply illogical that God be the subject of a sinful action. And since Jesus is God, Jesus could not sin. Q.E.D.

But, Jesus is also a man. And we don't have to look very far to know that mankind can and does sin. Okay, so God cannot sin. Can he die? Well, no, not as concerns His divine nature, but many have said that God suffered and died for us. And in a manner of speaking, this is true. By the communication of idioms, what properly pertains to Christ's human nature can be said of his divine nature. So, in Christ, God did suffer and die for us.

So... what's the problem with saying that, even though Christ's human will in fact always remained in perfect harmony with the divine will, there existed the hypothetical situation wherein, by an act of his human will, he could part ways with the divine will? I don't see the problem, and I cannot possibly be the first to take this line of reasoning.

What do you think?

Musings on Church law

2005-07-05T23:34:00.000-05:00

Several months ago, I recommitted myself to Catholicism more seriously. I had come into the Church my freshman year in college, and I was a "good" Catholic - never missed Mass on Sunday or a Holy Day, and I often went to daily Mass. Then, the collegiate drinking came on hard. I pretty much preferred the bottle to school, Church, or most any other activity I once enjoyed.

For whatever reason, I reflected on the damage this had already done and the potentially grave damage it might well do. There is a tendency to alcoholism in my family, and I have an addictive personality, so I tend to limit my drinking these days, just to avoid problems.

Back on topic, part of my recommittal has been taking seriously the obligations the Church lays on us. One of the precepts of the Church is to observe the days of fast and abstinence appointed by the Church. Now, the common opinion is that the precepts of the Church bind under pain of sin, and that the matter is grave, so the sin can potentially be mortal if committed with knowledge and malice. But what are the penitential days?

This is actually a more complicated question than it should be. As far as I can tell, for Catholics in the United States, the only days which bind under pain of sin (though this phraseology, for better or worse, is rarely used these days, especially in the U.S.) are Ash Wednesday, the Fridays of Lent, and Good Friday. I had been under the impression that the reforms in the wake of Vatican II had permitted local authority to determine the nature of penance, and that the U.S. bishops had rescinded the law requiring abstinence from meat on all other Fridays, but still requiring some form of penance, whether abstinence or perhaps works of charity.

It appears, however, that while it is true that the post-conciliar reforms gave more discretion to local churches, my understanding of what the U.S. bishops have done was flawed. It would appear that, outside of Ash Wednesday, Lenten Fridays, and Good Friday, there is no mandatory penance on Fridays. The bishops continue to recommend the traditional practice of abstinence on Fridays, but it seems no longer to be a matter of obligation. I have read several discussions on the matter, and there are differing opinions among people more qualified than I to pass judgement on the matter. But, canon 14 of the 1983 Code of Canon Law states, "Laws, even invalidating and incapacitating ones, do not oblige when there is a doubt of law." So unless there comes a statement from the U.S. bishops or Rome saying, "Don't eat meat on Fridays, dummy," there exists no canonical obligation to perform penance on Fridays outside of Lent, at least in the U.S. So, even though I have decided to go meatless on Fridays from now on, I don't have to beat myself up if I slip.

The other part of the recommittal, besides attending Mass, is to go to Confession more regularly. I had let it slip for two years or so, but I have been going about once a month now since February, which seems okay. If I want to be serious about being a committed Catholic, recognizing my faults would be a good start. John Paul II went every week, and Pius XII went every day. Besides, we are bound to confess our serious sins at least once a year.

Ahh... I can feel it now - the Catholic guilt is upon me. Time to get back in the box.

The world can exhale now... I'm back.

2005-07-02T01:43:00.000-05:00

I've been away doing incredibly important things, like solving world hunger and poverty by playing music (read: singing along with Queen in the car). PLUS, I'm fat. Josh:1, Bono and Geldof:0. But I am now back, ready to update almost twice a month. So buckle the f*ck up, it's catch-up time.

My grandmother is beginning another bout with breast cancer. I believe this is the fourth time. And this time is not good. There are cancerous cells, if not yet tumors, pretty much all over her body. A 7 cm. tumor was found the other day in her chest. Not a big fan of the big C - pretty common in my family, and it's no way to watch a loved one die. My grandfather died a few years back of prostate cancer. I always remember him as a big, strong man. He barely weighed 100 lbs. when he died. He didn't even look like the same man. The cancer was eating his body so viciously that his back was actually open near the base of his spine. My paternal grandmother died of cancer, my mother's aunt... well, it's common. We'll just leave it there.

Just got back from Savannah, GA with Liz. Good times. In keeping with history, we were caught in a downpour walking back from Mass - though this year it was simply a summer "toad-strangler," as it's known in meteorological circles, and not a tropical storm.

My sister should be giving birth pretty much any day now. Weird for the baby sister to be having a baby. Figured Liz and I would be the first with a kid, but Joey's wife has a daughter who is as beloved by us as if she were Joey's natural child. And now Jessica. So it appears that Jon and I are in a race for third.

Liz and I went with my brother, his wife, and his daughter, Gabby, and Gabby's cousin, Lexie, to the zoo last Sunday. Gabby and Lexie are both shy of 4 years old, so it was a very fun time, but I have to admire parents' ability to keep up - the last time I had that much energy, I was 4. The kids were excited, and displayed their excitement by alarming Liz's cats before we left. The cats are used to me and Elizabeth, and maybe another guest or two, usually 20 or older, but definitely not two three year old girls. Smudge immediately took up his spot behind the washing machine, while Stasi and Sticky tried their best to hang around.

I do wonder where children pick up the stuff they say. Lexie was kind of quiet when we first got to the zoo, but Gabby was insistent that she wanted to pet a giraffe. As time went on, she scaled Mount Comedy by saying several times, "I want a monkey to hold me." A fun trip, though not many pictures. Another Josh and Liz tradition.

2005-07-02T01:27:00.001-05:00

Gabby swinging from the trees.

2005-07-02T01:27:00.000-05:00

Babec is recovering nicely after his pacemaker surgery - he was in a surly mood, though. I might be, too.

2005-07-02T01:26:00.000-05:00

Gabby - an appropriate name. Didn't get a good picture of Lexie that day.

Why?

2005-06-01T23:26:00.000-05:00

Why do Americans lack the ability to name things in a totally rad way? While our children are being named "Hunter" and "Britney", China is busy naming its American Idol clone Mongolian Cow Sour Sour Yogurt Super Girl.

Now THAT'S rad.

Why Mongolian Cow? Why the double Sour? Yogurt!?!

Part of me thinks that someone who took a semester of Chinese and has a pocket dictionary saw the characters for the show's title and rendered "Mongolian Cow Sour Sour Yogurt Super Girl". But I choose to believe that China is just awesome enough to genuinely name the show in this manner.

God help me, I'm a dork.

2005-05-17T03:44:00.000-05:00

I'm up entirely too late right now. I've just been playing Morrowind, which may be definitive proof I'm a dork, and I have been playing around with some fan-created plugins. But while wandering around in some mansion in the Grazelands of Vvardenfell, I found myself mentally criticizing the placement of various storage containers and alchemical ingredients. And then I wept.

As further evidence of my descent into a world of Cheeto-dusted clothing and Mountain Dew-fuelled Babylon 5/Star Trek: Deep Space Nine crossover fanfic, I am mightily tempted to start playing Guild Wars. I was never really tempted by Everquest, as the association with fat beardos was too great to overcome, and my objection to paying for software was further insulted by also having to pay for a monthly subscription fee. I like the Warcraft games, but I can't pay $15 a month to play World of Warcraft. I can't.

But Guild Wars has no subscription fee, which makes the temptation greater. Some guys at work keep asking me to play, and Geoffrey mentioned he was thinking about it. So now I cannot fall back on my "principle" of not paying subscription fees, because there aren't any. Do I assert that I have too much "real" stuff to do, or do I wipe my orange cheez-stained fingers on my AD&D T-shirt and embrace the inner beardo?

Inventory blues...

2005-05-14T13:08:00.000-05:00

Well, I have to go to work in an hour and a half. It's inventory day at work, and I couldn't be more excited! Besides the fact that I get to stay until after midnight, the managers changed the schedule I made so that I have to watch the front end and be a backup cashier while doing my counts! Hooray!

My sister has had a pretty easy pregnancy so far, but she got pretty sick yesterday. She's been working as a waitress (planning to stop at the end of the month), and she got faint yesterday. I imagine working in a restaurant in Alabama in May is not the easiest thing for the pregnant among us. Hopefully my mother and I convinced her to go ahead and quit. I believe she's at about seven months - she needs to take it easier from here.

The paternal side of my family is having a baby shower for Jessica on the 29th. This might be awkward, as I haven't spoken to my father in a year and a half at least, and I haven't spoken regularly (or much at all, really) with him in five or six years. But duty calls, and I plan on attending for my sister's sake. I don't know if my brothers are going - I fully expect Joey not to go, and I understand that completely. Jon will be home from CT next week, and I don't know if he has decided to go.

I'm finishing up The Brothers Karamazov right now as part of my "complete the gaping holes in my education" project. It's good to do something more constructive than play Halo 2.

Ave

2005-05-11T23:17:00.000-05:00

Well, I have decided to start a blog. Not that I have anything particularly interesting to say, but I have to keep pace with my wife and in-laws, lest I become a technological Luddite. And, yes, I am aware that it is redundant to modify "Luddite" with "technological". So here begins the experiment. . .